When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
- Steven Wright
More Quotes By Steven Wright
- Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four...
- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
- You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
- If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap...
- The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the...
- If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
- Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
- Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
- The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re...
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