The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.

- Stephen Colbert
More Quotes By Stephen Colbert
- It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.
- Everybody loves dogs. They’re the pizza of the animal kingdom.
- Don’t cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it’ll be free yogurt.
- Corporations have free speech, but they can’t speak like you and me. They don’t have mouths or hands.
- God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he’s never on welfare in a mysterious way.
- If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we have to...
- Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.
- It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy...
- Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That’s the sky. If you’re...
- Northwestern’s alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody...
- This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty – unless she’s on the pill,...
- If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community....
- An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
- What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!
- You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through...
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